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These guys had been through the emotional throes of dating, and ultimately, they had been able to fall in love again — even multiple times. I needed to know their secrets.
By all means, in Greek culture, this relationship was considered an education. But today, relationships between older gay men and younger gay men are seemingly plagued by peer judgment over presumptive motivations. Admittedly, I have been one to shy away from intimate encounters with men much older than me in the past.
A lot of gay men around my age assume that older gay men, on the other hand, are mainly into younger gay men for the sex, perhaps so the youth can somehow rub off on them in bed like some heavy cologne. This is understandable — human beings often tend to hang out with people pretty much like ourselves in age or class or interest — but it can distort our perspective. At some bars, a 35 year old man who walked in might be the oldest guy around. I occasionally hear older men comment on the age discrimination they feel they have experienced in such bars.
I think the real ageism is the failure to find someone our own age attractive. There is no particular reason why a younger man should find an older man attractive — although many younger men do prefer guys older than them. Compatible Partners — Review your matches for free.
Younger men tend to hang out with other younger men because they have a good deal in common.
This is to be expected. Some younger men prefer older, more experienced partners. Some of the most long-lived relationships I know involve men with a 10 or 15 year age difference. It was expected that the older man woo the younger man with gifts or money. In Greek mythology even the king of the gods Zeus engaged in pederasty. There are examples in many cultures of older men taking in a young man as his partner. Older gay men are attracted to younger men just as older straight men are attracted to younger women.
By nature men evolved to look for signs of fertility while women evolved to look for signs of resources. In modern times, however older men, both straight and gay, dating younger has traditionally been frowned upon almost as a form of pedophilia. But is it making a comeback? Most of the funding goes towards HIV research things of that nature.
I did find an interesting article on the Washington Post which talks about the commonality of inter-generational gay dating:. In the gay community, it is very common for younger and older men to date. Common interests are the new demographic — not age. In my opinion, what's attractive in a guy in his 40s or older is that he's more likely to have his shit together, personally and professionally. The guy I've been seeing is financially secure relatively well-off, but certainly not rich.
He's led a pretty full life and has experienced a lot, which means he has good stories to tell and helpful advice to give. He also has many equally interesting friends. The fact that he's been to just about every bar and restaurant in the city means he is now perfectly content spending a quiet evening at home, which suits me just fine. I feel very fortunate because I've found someone who's mature, responsible, dependable, and considerate.
I, and others my age who are like me, find those qualities very attractive, and an older man is likelier to possess them. I'm 44, but look 34, thanks to very good genetics and a healthy lifestyle, and I attract mostly guys in their mid 20s looking for someone a little older. When I finally tell them the truth--that I'm old enough to be their father--they don't really care.
They see me as a slightly older contemporary, as one of their peers. So what you are saying you only have ten years left to live beacuse you are so shallow that you think if you look 45 - Its not worth living? You better get a handle on your old age now or you are in for a shock. Wake Up and stop looking at the Mirror! Oh, dear - another eldergay trying to convince themselves they look 10 years younger than they are.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one It's actually true.
I've gotten enough gasps and "no way, bitch! I'm not delusional enough to think I look early-mid 20s, but I can pass for a good 10 years younger. I've always looked a lot younger than I am. Guys in their 20s and 30s see me as one of their contempories. It's a great thing not to look your age in the gay world, and I'm going to milk my great genetics as long as I can.
I'm I have a full time job, and I have my own small business on the side. I work out days a week to stay in decent shape. On weekends, I do work around the house, laundry, food shopping, errands, gardening, etc. Who has the time or energy to go out?
At this point in my life, getting a good night's sleep alone is paramount. This reminds me of my friend Chris. He's 51, smart and mostly friendly, but also out-of-shape and with shaky finances big overspender. His favorite topic is whining about how lonely he is. I've known him 16 years, and in all that time have not known him to go out on a single date.
I can't even say for sure he's ever hooked up or had sex of any kind since I've known him. I don't think he's a virgin, but it wouldn't be shocking to find out he is he says he is not. Anyway, this thread reminds me of him because he says he is only attracted to guys in their 20s! That's who he wants a relationship with! Worse, I think he likes year olds who look He's turned down dates, just plain old casual dates, from perfectly reasonable guys who would be age appropriate.
Nice guy, and a good friend, but whenever we get to this topic and he falls into his self-pity routine I want to strangle him. It's really unusual for males to like younger partners male or female. You never hear of men dumping someone for a younger version, or of ugly old rich men getting young handome men or women. I'm 60 and as I posted a while ago, my boyfriend is We have a great time together. People keep saying, but what will you do in 15 years when you're 75 and he's I'm with you r46, II have the same kind of genetics and healthy lifestyle that keep me looking at least 10 years younger Don't worry about the jealous haters like r48 just enjoy it like I do.
And yes, I can relate to being considered a slightly older contemporary to younger guys. I used to be very hesitant about revealing my age, because the shocked reactions made me feel a little self-conscious. Now I'm just used to them and laugh them off. Like you, r56, being young just runs in my family. Sister is 40 and can easily pass for Could care less if anyone else believes me. No r20, they are just into younger - not older. Be honest. Unless they are looking for a wallet, they turn their noses up at older men.
Ah, yes. There are many who fall into this category. I have a friend who is now in his late 50s.
I haven't really spoken to him for a number of years, but when he was in his 40s he was always pining away for some gorgeous, handsome, hot guy in his 20s. Sometimes they were gay, sometimes they were straight, but they were always unobtainable. He was as nice as could be, but was overweight and out of shape, and didn't have a great job or a lot of money.
That shuts them up. Yes everyone does know a few. You've entirely negated your own answer, haven't you? Aging gay men desperate to hold onto their youth can be the most foolish people in the world, I'm afraid. They can convince themselves of anything but aging is so incredibly awful for so many of them--they spent their 20s denying they would ever age, and then nature takes her revenge. Gay men are famous for leaving claw marks on their youth. Let it go, girls. Look good for your age.